FiredGoddessCathy WebGoddessCathy
[don't kid yourself]
[talk to me]


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<-- my life, by webgoddesscathy -->

:: Saturday, November 12, 2005 ::
Saturdays can be so nice.

Wake up, read. Eat some fruit. Read.

Log into your computer and chat with long-distance friend over messenger.

Clean bathroom. Sort of.

Get a call from round-the-corner friend because she's "in the neighbourhood" walking her dog.

Check out my apartment before going for coffee. Decaf vanilla latte.

Walk through crunchy bright leaves, sit on church bench under the big tree and talk.

Drop off friend round the corner and continue on to buy bagels at the bakery.

Stop off at condo show centre and pick up brochure to read while eating (almost) perfect bagel.

View another condo show room.

Get ready to go out to downtown mate's birthday.
Flip through magazine, inspiring fashion envy while eating another bagel.

Consider walking to the birthday party as it's really nice out, but decide it would take over 2 hours and my feet would hurt before the night even began.

Consider it for tomorrow instead.

:: Cathy 2:47 PM [+] :: 1 comments

:: Thursday, November 10, 2005 ::
Just got back from Alex's show.

They had a pretty good show at the Horseshoe and what made it even better was that I got to have dinner with Scott and Kat. They're so great. They seem so happy and it really gives me a lot of hope.

Of course, they're very excited about being pregnant.
(Again, it seems that everyone's getting married, buying houses and having babies these days.)

I really don't get together with them enough.

And then Mike was able to join us at the Horseshoe and he had an animated story or two to tell, as usual! We've been friends since university (me, Scott, Mike). We've all changed somewhat but I can honestly say we have all become better people. Even though I totally loved us then, we're so way better now.

Funny, I always thought it went downhill from university.

But here I am, totally in love, living in a cute apartment with a decent job and a packed social calendar that doesn't involve drinking myself into oblivion.

Who knew?

:: Cathy 9:27 PM [+] :: 2 comments

:: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 ::
Oh the sweet, sweet joy of working only a 7.5-hour day.
Of leaving the office when the sun is still out.
Of laughing a little.

But, I tell ya, it's damn tough work dealing with a grumpy boyfriend when you are yourself extremely grumpy.

What DOES one do in such situations?

Telling them that they're grumpy does not help. That's for sure. I should know; I also HATE that.

Going for yummy coffee and chatting doesn't help either. That would totally help me, although I might prefer a good book, magazine or my journal.

Hugging helped. A little.

But sleep is the only solution. For cranky babies there's really no substitute. Except maybe playing your favourite song really loud and dancing around your apartment.

:: Cathy 5:55 PM [+] :: 1 comments

:: Monday, November 07, 2005 ::
What do you do when you have a ridiculous client who makes your life miserable?

I know I'm supposed to focus on the positive, on solutions, and make changes to improve things and not let the small stuff bother me.

Right. I've read all the self-help books our society is be addicted to.

So, how do you make all that happen beyond just knowing it to be the correct course of action?

I know I'm supposed to be somehow be perfect at all times, but seriously, the next person who says "talk is cheap" is getting a sharp object in an uncomfortable orifice. Unless they actually have walked in my shoes and know that I'm not doing everything I can to try to make things better.

Hey, guess what? You're right, I'm a failure because I can't seem to change my life at this particular moment. You're right, I can't seem to prevent a project from hell from taking over my every waking moment. You're right, I can't choose a new path because I can't give up on the dreams to which this path was supposed to lead me. And you're right: I did choose this path so now I have to deal with it. I'm dealing with it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

I'm sure you're shocked to find out that I'm not perfect afterall. Don't worry, maybe it's a temporary chemical imbalance.

:: Cathy 7:17 PM [+] :: 3 comments

:: Sunday, November 06, 2005 ::
Today I ate poutine for lunch.

Remind me never to do that again.

:: Cathy 7:06 PM [+] :: 0 comments

When did I get old?

When did I start going to Home Depot on the weekend and begging out of going dancing because I was too tired?

When did work become the highlight and panic of my life? When did I start scouring housing postings, looking for a financial planner and setting up investment accounts? I go home and talk about RRSPs and taxes with my dad. I complain about my back and migraines and worry that I'm losing my most fertile years while I wait for marriage.

I tell you that I don't want it.
I do not want this life.

I want new clothes and a cool haircut. I want to hang out in coffee shops and read controversial novels and listen to the latest local bands. I want to do yoga and get my nails done and have hot dates where I get butterflies in my stomach and dream about kissing him. I want to go dancing until 2 in the morning and roll out of bed at 1pm the next morning to a shower, greasy breakfast and coffee and feel completly refreshed. I want to giggle over the latest Cosmo magazine with my friends as we eat chocolate ice cream and doritos with abandon.

I want to not worry about my future.

:: Cathy 4:36 PM [+] :: 4 comments

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