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<-- my life, by webgoddesscathy -->

:: Friday, November 17, 2006 ::
My favourite part of my job: working on the MaRS blog.

I love researching new content topics and sending them to just the right blogger. And finding images to help tell someone's story. And finding new guest bloggers. And commenting on the posts I find interesting (inevitably these are ones that have to do with the environment or websites, but every once in a while I can apply some research I've done or info gleaned from an event I attended and I can marvel that I've actually learned a lot here).

I want to be BlogGoddessCathy. That would be great - just doing the stuff that I love most.

But of course, everyone has parts of their job that they don't like so much. But not everyone has something that they actually LIKE. Something that they'd actually choose to do in their off-time. I'm very lucky.

:: Cathy 12:01 PM [+] :: 1 comments

:: Thursday, November 16, 2006 ::
I have realized that my calendar is getting booked up very very quickly. Next week, for example, I have an event or meeting every single night.

This is a bit crazy.

Scheduling time with me has become tricky.
And I mean, for ME to schedule time with ME is tricky.

Last night, I did enjoy time alone, however. It looks like the last time in a good while, though. But I got to make myself dinner and tea and watch part of The Hour (as you may have guessed from my last post) and then mucked about on my computer, doing research for the next website project on my list. It was very productive and QUIET.

Sadly, I got little-to-no sleep. I went to bed at a normal time, but kept getting woken up by those who don't live in my timezone. And then I had to be in at work early - which didn't matter, because I was awake anyway at that point.

If you know me, you'll know I get grouchy when I'm tired.

So right about now I'm wishing I were at home in my bed. Unconscious.

Instead, I'm working away, not taking lunch, booking my days up with appointments, forcing myself to be cheerful. Getting organized so that I don't feel so hairy in the next couple of weeks.

Time to go eat that chocolate croissant that I stole from that event I went to this morning...

:: Cathy 1:05 PM [+] :: 0 comments

:: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 ::
So I think I have changed my mind about George Stroumboulopoulos.

I think I may see what the big deal is about. And I think I may love him a little.

It's the second time that I've seen The Hour, which, I know, is supposed be for a YOUTH audience, but since I'm still a youth in my mind, I figured I was the perfect demographic.

Today he talked with Wendy Mesley and said something about how he'll never be an anchor on The National. He did one of those "look at me" kind of motions to explain WHY he'd never have the seat.

And I did just that.
And all I could think were good things. He's very expressive, he's casual, his semi-babbling way of speaking in efforts to make good segues to the next topic, he has, admittedly, kind of cool style. And he's cute.

Which has about as much to do with his likeability as a journalist as it did for the up-and-coming Wendy Mesley. But, still, it's true and I've been resistant to admitting it for years while other friends fell prey to the hype.

On the other hand, I don't think I'll ever get to the stage of preferring The Hour over my Daily Planet fix, even though Natasha and Jay just don't cut it on the eye-candy scale.

:: Cathy 5:50 PM [+] :: 0 comments

:: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 ::
So the vote went down last night - I voted, of course. I even stayed late at work to finish my research on my ward's candidates.

I am disappointed to find that Case Ootes won again in my ward.

I didn't vote for him after reading this article about how Case is against bikes.

I can't in good conscience, vote for someone who's so ridiculously short-sited, elitist and anti-environment. I can't believe he won after pulling that crap, trying to take out a bike lane. Diane Alexopolous was so close, I thought she'd won. I'm really sad that she lost by 20 votes. I feel like I should have done more.

I guess this goes to show me that I should have done some research earlier and talked about the issue so as to sway some other voters in her direction (or at least away from Crusty Case). We need a re-vote.

As a happy sidebar, I found another Canadian magazine that I like: Spacing. They're an interesting media outlet. I especially liked their coverage of the election and associated issues.

:: Cathy 8:54 AM [+] :: 0 comments

:: Sunday, November 12, 2006 ::
The happiest time in my life, aside from childhood of course, but I'm talking about relatively recent history, is when I was travelling in Australia.

I've been trying to figure out exactly what made that experience so memorable and why I able to be the person then that I really want to be.

I really do believe that it was because I had time. While some of that time was used going around to various museums and parks and beaches and on various hikes and of course, sampling the best coffee in various cities -- much of what made those times resonate with me was that I was writing about them as they happened.

At every moment I was thinking about how I would describe what I was seeing or doing to the people who read me at home. And I would write whatever I was thinking or feeling. And I thought and felt a lot.

Often, a destination was just an excuse to sit down and write in a very beautiful, inspirational spot. And in fact, every place I went became the perfect writing opportunity. If it wasn't particularly beautiful, I waited and watched until I found the interest or peculiarity of the place.

I found beauty in everything around me.
I was mindful.
And the writing flowed.
It was utterly effortless.

Now I sit down at my computer at the end of a long day at, well, the computer, and I try to think of what engaging, insightful tidbit I can extract out of the melee. And sometimes, I don't even get around to doing that.

You may not have noticed the change, as maybe you've just met me. But I'll bet if you read my archives from March 2003-March 2004 you'll understand. Something happened. Something changed.

Yes, we are always changing. I accept that.
But hopefully, we are changing for the better. And I really am disappointed to think that perhaps I have changed for the worse.

When did I stop writing?

When did I start letting go of the thing that I love so much? It's been my passion since I was a little girl. I'll tell you -- as I know you didn't know me then -- I had volumes of pages written on a variety of imaginative themes. I still have all of the binders filled with all of the handwritten, crossed-out, scrap paper and work books.

Back then, I used my imagination to create an ideal future, packed with intriguing boyfriends and witty dialogue and fantastic outfits. Sometimes I even admitted that I was the main character. Other times, I called them such enviable names as "Kit" and "Brooke".

I even co-wrote adventures with my best teenage friend, Heather. We spent an entire summer writing what we called "Imagines" that involved elaborate scenes of what our lives would be like if we were dating our teen band heartthrobs.

And now?
Now, my furious personal scrawls that generated a monstrous writer's bump have given way to electronic tappings that are saved and filed, tagged by topic, posted to various electronic journals that are shared with the world. Should they want to read them.

Now, I post a smattering of rants about the environment, the pains of home ownership and the whinings of a frustrated woman trying to have a mature relationship without a roadmap.

I suppose my writing (my real writing) stopped when I stopped fulfilling another life mantra: live life with passion. Although which came first, I don't know.

I want to regain the Cathy who lived with passion. I want to start writing again.

Cross-posted from WebGoddessCathy on MySpace.

:: Cathy 7:13 PM [+] :: 1 comments

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