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<!-- May 22, 2003 -->

So many people have said, "Oh you're so lucky to be there" or "I wish I could do that". I find this so odd.

Most people have done some travelling (across Europe with a friend or visiting family abroad). But travelling like I'm doing isn't for everyone. Most people feel they couldn't do what I'm doing. They don't realize that it's not all that hard, aside from leaving everyone you know behind for a year. (Ya, like THAT's easy!)

But they seem to always site money as an issue. To be honest, it's not that big a deal, money-wise. I had a plan to pay off my debts and save enough to pay for all this, and I stuck to it. I'm much more disciplined if I have a goal, I find.

Anyway, in most cases, I don't think it would be good for anyone to do this kind of thing with me. I mean, it would be great to have people VISIT me here. I'm sure we'd have fun. But I think it's better when you do it by yourself. YOu learn so much more. Become so much more independent. Learn how to rely on yourself. Feel pride in being able to do anything and everything if you try.

You can meet new people and experience new things even where you are, if you want to. If you're not, then you don't really WANT to do it.

I know that most people feel a tied to do what they're doing. They feel it's the right, responsible thing to do. Maybe they're right. But people don't realize how many options are realistically open to them. They don't consider options like quitting everything and going to Australia for a year. It seems like an insurmountable BIG thing. Once you chop it up into little pieces, it's not such a big deal, though. Anyone can do it. You just have to plan.

I personally think it would be good for most people to travel. But if THEY don't think it would be good for them, then it doesn't matter what I think. People will do what is right for them - rather, what they think is right for them. Not everyone has the same goals as I do. Not everyone thinks it would be cool to be a waitress and work in a coffee shop in Sydney. I think I'm just a freak and have romantic notions about such things. So, I'm here to get those notions out of my system. I'm trying them out while I have the freedom to do so. Before I get wrapped up in something that matters to me enough to make me want to stay in one spot.

But perhaps career and family goals are more important to other people than anything else they've ever wanted. I wanted this and so I made it happen. I know that I'm not really interested in/ready for the family thing yet. And as for my career... I've had one and it wasn't what I thought it would be, in the end. But it was a good experience while it lasted.

For me, this goal appealed more than anything else I could think of. It also scared the shit out of me. Which is what would make most people forget about it and move on to their KNOWN universe. I had nothing better to do and that sad prospect kept me on going.

I'm glad I'm doing this, but it's nothing like what I thought it would be. Which is both a relief and a disppointment, much like all things in life.





my journal

Cursing:
my aching throat

Weather:
17 degrees, sunny, moderate winds

Reading:
In a Sunburned Country